Today I was pondering the subject of what your mistakes cost you.
How do we measure the power of return boomerangs — the mistakes you make that come back to you and often catch you off guard — that you leave in the air, space, time and relationships, un-covered and un-hedged? The question is one of how to minimise the pain and damage your own mistakes, inabilities or weaknesses cost you.
As someone with an intense personality, I can only speak of my own experiences, attitudes, actions, reactions, responses and their costs. And how do I feel about the overall effect these have on me as I try to go forward with the drags of my own misdoings?
What should I do to reduce the pressure of the drags on me; so that I get the maximum advantage of the time, energy and resources that I spend on trying to actualise my dream of a happy and fulfilled life?
I would like to give a short example of a master who would always respond by smiling first — at anyone and everyone — on all good or bad that happened to him. When people used to ask him why he smiled first at everything and everyone, before any other response and regardless of the situation, he said this was the only thing he could offer to the world that he felt amused them. To make them laugh at his funny face, he said, brought meaning to his existence. His name was Socrates.
I feel that most of the time we are the source of all bad boomerangs that hit us off guard. If we reflect deeply enough, I believe the biggest issue in this fast-paced world of today is that we are unable to get the time or focus to develop the habit of deep reflection. This leaves us vulnerable to being unable to spot the boomerangs on the radar of our psychic map or that of another’s, leaving us at risk of becoming victims of our own Ill-doings, not understanding who to blame and where to point the finger — in the process, making it second habit to blame everyone else for my plights and losses, other than myself.
A short and very Old Persian tale may be appropriate here. One day, a known madman in a Persian locality was holding a famous, rich and wise noble by the neck, shouting “Guys, this man who you think is wise and noble is in reality not so! He is actually stupid. “Otherwise he would not have engaged in the wrong way with a guy like me.”
So valid is this logic — on the choice of which to engage with and with whom not to — till today, it is amazing.
Coming back to where I left the thought, the question arises: what is the best way to keep a good count of the position and the possible reverse hit losses of our own mistakes? It is not an easy task. The first thing I feel we need to develop is a good conscience, as well as the courage to look squarely at our own doings and openly blame ourselves — if the need arises.
The second thing that is vital is the attitude around the subject of how our ego does not, most of the time; let us be open and less guarded and defensive about our mistakes. If we are able to keep these three major psychic mechanisms in balance, we can keep ourselves well-adjusted with most of the things, events and engagements that come in our way through life, with grace and politeness.
After all, if we do come into this world, It is someone else’s mistake — generally called love — and once we are here, all mistakes are ours. The mother of all mistakes is the mistake of blaming others for any calamity or loss that comes to us.
I am sorry to have written this, as I do not know how many boomerangs I have thrown. I only wish not to get into self-pity when I am calculating the mistakes I do, and their consequences.
Good luck to all after making the mistake of reading this. The only take from mistakes is to smile at your own and others’ doings all the time. At the very least, this small, irrelevant note does prove the wisdom of Socrates.
by
John Kingz
